I’ve noticed that after working as a full-time employee for about 3 months now that there seems to be a big problem in the way we describe how we are feeling and what we are thinking. I thought at first that this was just something that happens when you get older and start working for a while, but I looked more carefully into my friends and family and found that this exists almost everywhere.
Here’s a quick example of what I am calling “Anti-Negative” statements.
Ben: “Hey! How are you doing today?”
Person: “Not bad, thanks.”
You can see almost immediately what I am describing here. These anti-negative statements are basically ways in which we describe ourselves and how we are feeling that include negative adjectives, to describe seemingly positive emotions.
I find a major problem with this. Mainly because it begs the question – are these people really happy?
Why must we describe a positive emotion by describing that you are not unhappy or not “bad”?
If we want to be perceived as being happy, and if we want to actually be happy, I challenge you to try and rid your life of these anti-negative statements. If you are happy, say you are happy, if you are well, say you are well. Even if you aren’t happy, being true to your actual emotions and saying you aren’t well allows you to look deeper into yourself and analyze the emotion you are feeling, good or bad. So in revisiting our example:
Ben: “How are you doing today?”
Person: “I’m doing very well, thanks!”
So you can see that this positive self-reinforcement makes you physically say to yourself that you are very well, as well as ridding your statement of any negativity.
I know for myself, doing this has proven extremely helpful in reminding myself what actual emotional state I am in, and it is also a way for me to hear myself physically say positive words throughout the day, forcing me to hear my own voice say these things, making me happier as a result.
Give it a try, and you may just become a happier, healthier, and stronger person because of it.